Monthly Archives: January 2014

Influence, Reputation and Power


“In the quantum world, relationship is the key determiner of everything…there is increasing support for his [James Lovelock] hypothesis that the earth is a self-regulating system, a planetary community of interdependent systems that together create the conditions which make life possible.” By Margaret Wheatley

Power can have a negative connotation attached to it, however, all human relationships are based on power (the ability to influence the actions of other people). This is particularly true for business, whether you run your own business, lead a team or are the president of the school committee. The truth is power is a neutral term, one can use it for good or ill.

In a growing business it is necessary to accomplish everything we set up to do and there is nothing wrong with seeking to increase your power, as long as the rights of other people are respected. Most of us rely on power to get things done. Robert Greene in The 48 Laws of Power, argues that no one is completely exempt for dealing with others, which inevitably involves Power.

According to Josh Kaufman, the use of Power typically takes one of two forms:

– Influence, the ability to encourage someone else to want what you suggest

– Compulsion, the ability to force someone else to do what you command

Much has been written about Influencing skills, Dale Carnegie author of How to win friends and influence people says that “The deepest craving in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”. Dr. Robert Cialdini in his great book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion tell us about a Harvard University experiment conducted by Ellen Langer, where people providing a reason for jumping the photocopier’s cue where 95% successful, using a reason as lame as “because”. Humans are predisposed to look for behavioural causes. People will be more receptive to any request if you give them a reason. Any reason will do.

Charles Schwab an American steel magnate who lead Bethlehem Steel to became the second largest steel maker in the United States, and one of the most important heavy manufacturers in the world said “The best way to develop the best that is in a person is through appreciation and encouragement”. Providing a safe environment and making people feel appreciated and important are key elements to influence others in the your organisation, team, or your social interactions. Showing Appreciation (expressing your gratitude for what others are doing for you, even if it’s not quite perfect, Courtesy (politeness, pure and simple “accepting small inconveniences on behalf of another person”), Respect (honoring the other person’s status no matter if lower or higher than yours).

If you treat people with Appreciation, Courtesy and Respect in all circumstances, people will feel safe, important and you will be able to influence and persuade others to do what needs to be done.

Promoting a safer workplace with room for appreciation!



Go & Grow

Stitched Panorama

Growth is important to me, it provides meaning, the opportunity to improve, re-evaluate ideas, concepts and become a bigger person. It is, according to research an important part of happiness, is described in The Happiness Project as one of the elements that makes Gretchen and many others happier.

Reading, learning a new skill, having a robust conversation, listening to a Ted Talk, are different ways in which we can strive to grow and develop. What do we do with these ideas, skills, learnings, defines the level of satisfaction. An oyster takes a piece of dirt, rolls it around a few times, and fashions it into a pearl. This is described as “personal alchemy” by Robert Holden in his amazing book “Shift happens”.

Patience, resilience and constancy are some of the skills that I am trying to develop to provide the levels of effectiveness and productivity that will take me to feel I accomplish, finish and practice. I want to practice with determination, putting into action some of the ideas, concepts and projects that are developed as a consequence of a moment of inspiration from something I read, I heard or seen.

The purpose is to create a more fulfilling life, reconnect with my inner wisdom, be more in touch with life, joy and love. This is about happiness for me and those around me. One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make others happy and one of the best ways to make others happy is to be happy. Taking into account that the only person I can change is myself. I will strive to create, first of all, a happy life within, and in the process impact my kids, my husband and those close to me. Saint Therese of Lisieux said, “I take care to appear happy and especially to be so”. Happiness takes energy and discipline, keeping my resolutions is my first step towards that more full filed, joyful, happy life.

Being a time poor individual, prioritisation is a must, where to start and getting started. I have chosen my starting areas as:

1- Develop my personal alchemy

2- Choose the highest thought

3- Willingness inspires readiness

4- Sign up rather than wait for the right sign

5- To make footprints “I was here”

6- To own less

7- To be a heaven

8- Staying open all hours for miracles

9- Exercises a “Signature Strength”

10- Create shinny eyes around me

Where would you start? What do you want to create? and what is your purpose for today, this month, this year, this life?

Being purposeful.